Monday, January 17, 2011

Guideline to a graded 10 minute speech at Military Instructor training. Might have been about lying.



LESSON PLAN, PART II, TEACHING GUIDE

 


INTRODUCTION
 








ATTENTION:            A man and wife get in an argument. The wife grabs her purse and storms out. Husband stays up all night worried. Wife walks in at 10 the next morning, says she stayed at a friends. Husband knows she only has 3 close friends, so he calls them all. Each one says they haven’t seen her. Husband responds in kind the next night and doesn’t come home. Wife stays up worried. Husband comes home 10 the next morning, says he stayed at a friends. Wife calls his 3 best friends. Two say he just left and the third says he’s still on the couch.



MOTIVATION:         Lying is one of the most basic skills and experiences of human life and has been throughout history.



OVERVIEW: Given a 10 minute speech, explain how the lie is used and why it is important in daily life with no instructor assists.

(1)        Lies throughout history
                        (2)        Techniques (how are lies used?)
                        (3)        Applications (when do we lie?)



TRANSITION:           To truly grasp how essential the lie is to the human experience, let’s take a look at some of the greatest lies ever told.
PRESENTATION:

(1)  Lies throughout history

     (a)  Lies in the Bible! Gasp!!!!
   
            1  Adam & Eve



            2   Peter



     (b)  Columbus “discovering” America



     (c)  George Orwell’s “War of the Worlds” broadcast






(2)  Techniques – “How do we lie?”

     (a)  Basics

 1  lies of attrition

 2  lies of omission

    

     (b)  Advanced techniques

            1  “the whopper”

           
            2  “the one-up”

           
            3  “the throw-off”

           
   










(3)  Applications – “Why do we lie?”

     (a)  To avoid conflict or get out of trouble

            1  spouse

            2  in the workplace

            3  authority figures

     (b)  Personal gain

            1  corporate America

a  “The Boiler Room”



b   “The Wire”, Season 5

           
            2  parent/teenager relations

    
     (c)  Miscellaneous

             1  practice

             2  set-up or evasion

            
             3  “just because”






Genesis 3:4
- serpent and tree of knowledge


John 18:17-27
- denies that he knows Jesus 3 times as Jesus said he would

Q: Who really discovered North America?
A: Viking Eric the Red, Pacific Islanders


Mercury Theatre – 1938
Nationwide pandemonium, also in South America

Transition: These are just a few of the most famous lies ever told, but perhaps more importantly, is how exactly are lies told?





used most often by men

used most often by women

Q: Who lies more, men or women?
A: Men tell more, women tell bigger.


usually when drunk, wild exaggeration


hearing someone tell a story, always feeling that you have one better

allowing the significant other to catch you telling little lies, leading them to think that you cant lie




 





Transition: Q: What are the most common reasons for lying?




can be as simple as, “Yeah, I took out the trash”

“Sure, Bobs a great guy”

police; landlady; principal





group of stock traders sell fake stocks, whole business hinges on ability of traders to “sell” the clients

Templeton starts making up his own story quotes to try to win a Pulitzer

saying homework is done to go to a party




just to stay sharp; Buster

lying to setup a later, larger lie or to avoid an unwanted situation

advanced liars; dont have a reason; big buster



CONCLUSION


SUMMARY:  Given a 10 minute speech, explain how the lie is used and why it is important in daily life with no instructor assists.

(1)        Lies throughout history
                        (2)        Techniques (how are lies used?)
                        (3)        Applications (when do we lie?)

           
REMOTIVATION:    As you can see, lying plays an important role in the every day lives of most     human beings. It has also changed the course of history on more than one occasion.


ASSIGNMENT:  None


CLOSURE:    Henry Louis Mencken, a famous journalist for the Baltimore Sun and responsible for    the bathtub hoax in the 1940’s, said “Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable.”

History of Religion paper on Martin Luther. Teacha don't take no mess







Luther v. Everyone
Or
Clash of the Titans


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HIS 356
19 February 2009

The mention of the name Martin Luther in present day society can conjure a myriad of emotions and thoughts among people, depending on to whom you may be speaking.  A follower of the Catholic faith may respond in a slightly negative manner.  A Baptist may perk up and engage you in a lively discussion.  A Muslim may look at you in bewilderment.  No matter what response you may elicit, one thing is of a certainty: Martin Luther was one of the most influential men in history.  Secular society, Catholic, Protestant, Judaic; Martin Luther had an enormous impact upon them all.  Perhaps this writing can shed some light as to why.
            The Catholic Church had been the dominant force in the everyday life of Christian Europeans for over a thousand years.  Its word was very near law, and in some cases, was the law.  In order for a Christian to get to Heaven, they had to conform to the rules of the Church.  These rules on paper seem simple: perform the Sacraments (baptism, confession, Eucharist, last rites, etc.), do good works i.e. tithe and feed the poor, and above all else, follow the decrees of the Pope.  But in the mid-1300s, events began to take place that would shape the world into which Martin Luther would be born.
Europe in the 1300s was not exactly a prime vacation destination.  Years of drought were likely brought on by abysmal weather conditions and poor irrigation techniques; coupled with exponential population growth, the ensuing famine was severe and all-encompassing.  Then in 1347, one of the worst epidemics ever to afflict a civilization struck the long-suffering Europeans: the Black Plague.  Believed to have been transmitted by infected fleas, the Black Plague decimated the continent.  Almost a third of the entire European population fell victim to the disease.  As horrible as the loss of life must have been in and of itself, there were unforeseen, farther-reaching consequences.
As a result of so many people dying so quickly and from fear of contamination, a large percentage of the dead were not given their last rites.  Of course, in order to proceed to Heaven after death, all Sacraments must be performed by and upon the Catholic laity.  This left the Church with a bit of a dilemma.  Their response was to say that those who died were not necessarily condemned to Hell, but they could not be admitted into Heaven either.  As such, the Church inserted the idea of purgatory as a stopgap.  In order for a soul to leave purgatory and enter Heaven, masses could be bought from the local priests and bishops to shorten a soul’s wait.  As we all know, the introduction of fiscal profit into an organization is likely to spur greed, and it was in this spirit that indulgences began to be sold as a way of paying penance.  The selling of masses led to saintly relics being sold, relics led to indulgences; and before long, the rich were simply buying their way into Heaven.  No Church officials spoke out against the system, because it simply generated too much money.  It was into this culture of greed that Martin Luther was born. 
Luther lived the life of an affluent businessman’s son until he joined a monastery in 1501.  This of course angered his father, who had hoped for a more prosperous livelihood.  His solemness and strict adherence to the Gospel did not win many friends within the monastery.  It did not take him long to begin to question the practices that he saw take place every day.  Perhaps the breaking point for Luther was when the archbishop of Saxony commissioned a local lord, Johann Tetzel, to sell indulgences in his stead.  Whatever the final straw may have been, what is known is that Luther wrote a scalding (for the times) letter to Pope Leo X, stating “the soul…is justified by faith alone…for if it could be justified by anything else…it would not need the faith.”
Of course, this immediately put Luther at odds with the entire Catholic faith, seeing as his letter was to the Pope, not a local priest or bishop.  He went on to say that “Christ has made it possible for us…to be not only his brethren, co-heirs, and fellow-kings, but also his fellow-priests.”  This statement in and of itself rebukes the entire Catholic system, which held that only through ordained priests could a common person know God and thereby be remitted unto Heaven.  Luther argued that works are not done to become good, but rather are a consequence of being good.  He did not think that works should be forgotten entirely, but that they had their place and purpose. 
Martin Luther railed against what he thought were irreconcilable wrongs committed by the Church of his day.  For him to do so during that period was considered heresy and he could reasonably have expected to be put to death.  If for no other reason than this, Martin Luther is a man to be respected and studied.  The fact that a movement founded from his teachings and interpretations shows that he touched on a fundamental truth that the human beings of his day could not deny.  The fact that his movement continues today shows that he was more than just a reformer: he was the reformer. 

Something I did for a sociology course. Pretty dry. Must have taken it seriously.

***********
Applied Demography
5 April 2009

Study of Memphis via Professional Sports

            This is an examination of why the city of Memphis has only one professional sports team.  We will compare and contrast the demographic characteristics, most notably economic standards and variations, of select cities that are host to at least one of each of the 4 commonly recognized professional sports teams (NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL) with those of Memphis, which is home to only one franchise (NBA).  The question we are attempting to answer is this: if other cities can support 3, 4, even 5 professional sports teams, why can’t Memphis?
Cities
            There are 13 major metropolitan areas/cities in the United States that are host to at least one team of each of the 4 major professional sports leagues.  These are Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Miami, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, New York, Phoenix, the San Francisco Bay area, and Washington, D.C.  Of these, we will choose 4 as a standard by which Memphis shall be judged.  These will be Atlanta, Dallas, Denver, and Minneapolis.  Cities were chosen because of their geographical location, relative population density, economic qualities, and racial composition.  Certain cities, such as New York and Boston, are excluded from comparison as the differences in population density and land area are not conducive to this study.  Statistics are chosen on a subjective basis, relative to what this author believes may be important factors for franchise owners in terms of ticket sales, fan base, projected attendance, etc.  In the interest of efficiency, all figures are taken from the 2000 census.






Memphis
            Total population:  650,100
            Male:  47.3%
            Female:  52.7%
            Median age:  31.9
            34.4% White
            61.4% Black
            Households w/individuals under 18:  36.9%
            Labor force:  63%
            Median household income:  $32,285
            Median family income:  $37,767
            Persons per square mile:  2,327.4
Atlanta
            Total population:  416,474
            Male:  49.6%
            Female:  50.4%
            Median age:  31.9
            33.2% White
            61.4% Black
            Households w/individuals under 18:  27.4%
            Labor force:  64%
            Median household income:  $34,770
Median family income:  $37,231
Persons per square mile:  3,161
Dallas
            Total population:  1,188,580
            Male:  50.4
            Female:  49.6
            Median age:  30.5
            50.8% White
            25.9% Black
            Households w/individuals under 18:  34.9%
            Labor force:  65.1%
            Median household income:  $37,628
            Median family income:  $40,921
            Persons per square mile:  3,469.9
Denver
            Total population:  554,636
            Male:  50.5%
            Female:  49.5%
            Median age:  33.1
            65.3% White
            11.1% Black
Households w/individuals under 18:  26.3%
Labor force:  67.7%
Median household income:  $39,500
Median family income:  $48,195
Persons per square mile:  3,616.8

Minneapolis
            Total population:  382,618
            Male:  50.2%
            Female:  49.8%
            Median age:  31.2
            65.1% White
            18% Black
            Households w/individuals under 18:  25%
            Labor force:  72.1%
            Median household income:  $37,974
            Median family income:  $48,602
            Persons per square mile:  6,970
Comparisons
            As shown, the 4 variable cities all have higher per capita and per household income rates, as well as a higher labor force percentage.  These may directly correlate to ticket sale revenue in the mind of a franchise owner.  Total populations vary greatly, with Memphis having a higher population than 3 of the 4 variable cities.  Further study should be conducted to gauge the impact of outlying areas, i.e. Germantown and Collierville for Memphis, Ft. Worth, Arlington, and Irving for Dallas, etc.  Racial composition may have a slight bearing, but results shown here are inconclusive as the numbers vary. 
Conclusions
            From a strict demographic data perspective, there is no conclusive evidence to prove that the city of Memphis could not support a second or even third major sport franchise, leading one to believe that the reasons for such stem from a deeper, more underlying cause.

A project for a statistics class. Skip the stats. Almost started a rant but held it in check. Barely.

Falling Behind: MS and the South As Compared to the US

***********

For as long as anyone cares to remember, Mississippi has been at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder as compared to the rest of the nation. Consistently bringing up the rear in census surveys of per capita income, poverty levels, and education levels to name a few (AIDS), Mississippi has been the butt of many a joke from late-night shows to the big screen.
Mississippi, as well as Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina constitute what is commonly known as the “Deep South.’ These are states that in the past actively promoted slavery and whose agricultural and economic base was dominated by cotton. What these states have in common, outside of the historical and geographical context, is that they all share similar Census Bureau results year after year in the areas of disease, education, poverty, income, and uninsured individuals. (AIDS)
The plight of these states is a well-documented, much-debated topic in today’s society. What is discussed to a lesser degree as well as being the topic of this paper is the question of what exactly is/are the source of the problems facing Southerners in the 21st century. Perhaps in researching the past, answers can be found to problems in the present and future.   
Poverty rates, MS vs. US:
2000-2001: 17.1 – 11.5
2001-2002: 18.9 – 11.9
2002-2003: 17.2 – 12.3
2003-2004: 17.3 – 12.6
2004-2005: 19.4 – 12.7 (unsure if this reflects Katrina; unsure of exact date of survey)    (CENSUS BUREAU)
AIDS increases 2000-2003:
Northeast: -0.4%
Midwest: 1.7%
West: 19.3%
South, other than Deep South: 4.0%
Deep South: 35.6%     (AIDS)
Deep South vs. US, 2000-2003:
                        African American population: 29.15% – 8.46%
                        High school graduates: 76 – 82.66
                        BA: 20.3 – 24.58
                        Unemployed: 3.82 – 3.58
                        Families in poverty: 12.32 – 8.45
                        Individuals in poverty: 15.83 – 11.61
                        W/O health insurance: 15.88 – 13.53              (AIDS)           
            Health care, standards of living, and education go hand-in-hand with poverty rates. As such, Mississippi and other Deep South states lag perennially behind in many related surveys:
…3 of the 5 states with the highest death rate per 100000 in 2001 were located in the Deep South (Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama). Similarly, 3 of the 5 states with the highest diabetes prevalence per 100 population in 2002 (Mississippi, South Carolina, Alabama) and the highest stroke rate in 2001 (North Carolina, South Carolina, Mississippi) were in the Deep South. For heart disease deaths and deaths by firearms, 3 of the 10 states with highest rates in 2001 were located in the Deep South. Infant mortality and morbidity are also prevalent in the Deep South, as all 6 Deep South states were among the 10 states with the highest infant mortality in 2001, and all but 1 of the Deep South states (Georgia) were among the 10 states with the highest rates of preterm births in 2001. Finally, the Deep South has been particularly affected by sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In 2002, the 5 states with the highest rates of gonorrhea were all in the Deep South (range 225 to 255 per 100000 in 2002), and half the 10 states with the highest rates of chlamydia were in the Deep South. Four of the 10 states with the highest syphilis rates in 2002 were in the Deep South. (Reif, Susan, Geonnotti, Kristen Lowe, and Kathryn Whetten. “HIV Infection and AIDS in the Deep South.” American Journal of Public Health 96.6 (2006): 970-973. Academic Search Premier. 3 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com)   

            The basis of today’s situation in the Deep South is rooted in the very thing that made the South in the first place: agricultural society and dependence on slave labor. When other factors are considered, whether it be work ethic, Reconstruction, or racism, they all lead to back to this concept. Even before the plantation system was perfected and slave labor became the backbone of the entire economy, Southerners were engrossed in get-rich-quick schemes. Indian trading and land speculation were precursors to the establishment of the antebellum lifestyle. Once a specialized strain of cotton was created that enabled landowners to harvest more crop in less time, the greed swelled exponentially. With such an obvious gift bestowed upon them by the land itself, who can blame them for not giving industry a second thought? Why develop something new when you already have something that works? The only problem was one that many anticipated but few prepared for: emancipation.
            Once the war was over and slaves became freedmen, white landowners were at a bit of a loss. Without the benefit of free labor, crops rotted in the fields. Share-cropping soon caught hold and everything was (almost) back to normal for landowners and blacks alike. If there had been an established commercial system of industry, other than timber, available for the newly freed blacks and poor white farmers, this return to the near status quo would have been much less pronounced.
Having put the Civil War to rest, most of the country began hurtling towards the 20th century. The South was faced with the burden of rebuilding the fundamentals of society. The plantation culture that had developed over the past 100 years had been swept away seemingly overnight. Large landowners on average lost around half of total assets in freed slaves alone. Small farmers had to rebuild their operations from the ground up, as in many cases their lands, livestock, crops, and equipment had all been destroyed. Large numbers of freed black slaves roamed the countryside unsure of what the next step was after leaving the plantations. This was the backdrop to which the Northern Reconstructionists arrived.
During the Reconstruction era, a great deal was done toward setting the minds of the rest of the country about the South in general. Carpetbaggers and Freedmen’s Bureau agents swarmed into the South. Union troops set themselves up for the occupation by pilfering what little they could from the shattered plantations and homesteads. It was in this environment of wretch and squalor that some of the most widely accepted views of the South were formulated. Aid workers and government agents traveled extensively throughout the South, plotting what they saw into their journals. Some of these journals were eventually published in the North. For many Yankees, it was their first glimpse into Southern life, as biased and judgmental as it may have been. Authors wrote of the poor masses they encountered daily with a certain amount of disdain and in some cases flat refusal of any sort of human bond or kinship with these downtrodden folk. (WINDERS)
‘White trash’ was a term coined during this era. It was used to describe the hunched, broken, and dirt-poor folk of the South. They usually lived in small clapboard shacks not much larger than a modern living room. These people were often the subject of the harshest criticism from their Northern brethren. Northern travelers could not grasp how these whites were so poor. It seemed to be a contradiction of the most basic kind: how could one be both white and penniless? (WINDERS)
One controversial yet undeniable factor of the predicament in the South today is the impact of the black population. (GIBBS) Ever since the first settlers came to Mississippi and the South, African-Americans have been entwined in the fate of the region. This next statement will appear racist and bigoted, but please allow the explanation that follows: black people (along with the change-resistant Southern white preconceptions about them) are the reason that the South, particularly the Deep South, is in the shape that it is in today. Having said that, Southern whites are fully responsible for the pattern of dependence and ignorance perpetuated by (what is often perceived as) the majority of Southern blacks. Throughout the history of blacks in the South, they have been discouraged from advancement at every turn. Jim Crow laws, black codes, segregation, scare tactics, and of course slavery have all played their part in shaping the Southern black culture. To this day, blacks are discouraged from higher-paying jobs, and are expected to hold certain positions in society. When a black person succeeds or excels in their profession and does well for himself or herself, it is often implied that they got ahead by less than scrupulous means, i.e., dealing drugs.
When the public holds the black population to this lower standard, the cycle of dependence is perpetuated. Menial and dead-end jobs yield lower incomes. Lower incomes mean both less purchasing power and less taxable income. With less money in pocket, the black community has less opportunity for health care services, which leads to higher death rates, more infant mortality, AIDS increases, etc. It also means less money is being funneled back through the market by consumer spending. With less taxable income, the government does not have the means by which to improve the fundamentals of society, and it also spends more in welfare programs to augment the incomes of the very families from whom well-paying jobs are being withheld. The children of these families then receive a lesser quality education and health care, which leads right back into the cycle.
            As is evident by simply examining our environment, Mississippi and the other Deep South states have a long way to go. As made evident here, there are quite a few events and developments that have transpired over the years that could provide a sensible explanation for the plight that affects Southerners today. The cycle of dependence created by the slave labor system and perpetuated by racial bias is by far the single greatest factor of the issues that plague us today. As the rest of the nation looks at the South as a region of lazy, backwards whites and poor, uneducated blacks still held in thrall by influences beyond their control, the real question that bears asking is this: are they right?

Western Civ or something? You start to see my patterns. Good intentions at the beginning, meandering at the ends

**********

10/5/06

Dr. *****

4.         I’m not positive about the true definition of Madison’s reading, but I think he is saying that in order to be considered a faction, a group must have a singular interest or passion that runs contrary to the majority rule.  If this is the case then I most definitely agree with him.  The ability to even discuss whether or not certain groups within our country are factions and the whole process (to include the groups themselves) being completely within the law is a perfect example of how unique and special our lifestyle is in America. 
            The very concept of a democratic government allows for a certain amount of internal criticism and questioning.  The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Revolution itself were all created and carried out by a bunch of radicals who wanted a better life for themselves and were willing to die for it.  To question the existence of factions within a democratic society is to question the democracy itself. 
            I believe that the existence of factions within a democratic society helps to prevent stagnation and promotes forward thinking.  Without factions, we would still be singing “God Save The Queen.”

3.         Any figure from the 18th and 19th centuries when viewed in the correct context was a hero.  Benedict Arnold was a hero until he sold us out.  General Nathan Bedford Forrest was a hero to the Confederate Army.  Citizens of a nation have a tendency to mythologize their founding patrons, and we are no different.  Wasn’t it Hamilton who shot and killed Aaron Burr in a duel?  You have never heard of any general uprising about that event.  So John Hancock smuggled some trade goods into and out of the colonies to make a little profit.  I don’t think anyone these days will hold that against him.
Seeing as how the colonies at that time were still colonies and therefore under British rule, England had every right to prosecute Hancock.  If a native tribal priestess on Hawaii decided that she had just about enough of our “annexation” of their islands and decided to start destroying American products and opened trade with North Korea for milk and bread, how do you think the government would react?  We would send in the boys to “keep the peace.”  Same situation, different take.  At least the colonists didn’t have to put up with tourists. 

Some government class at Ole Miss. #4 is a winner. Started rambling on the last question


1. What is the purpose of government?
2. The Constitution is divided into 3 sections. Explain the purpose of each section.
3. Why did Virginia feel that it was necessary to propose amendments to the Constitution?
4. How do the first 2 amendments differ from the remaining text?
5. Review Article V of the Constitution and explain the 2 ways in which the Constitution may be amended.
6. What is the difference between freedom of religion and toleration of religion?
7. Which Constitutional amendment protects the right to keep and bear arms? Reread the language of the amendment. Whose right is protected? Are there limits on the right?
8. Founding Father Benjamin Franklin stated that, "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." In light of Sept. 11th and all the "War on Terror," is the government asking Americans to give up essential liberties in the interest of safety? Do you agree with Franklin's statement? As commentators today have asked, in surrendering certain liberties in the name of national security, do the terrorists "win"?
1. to protect and provide for the governed
2. The Preamble is basically the mission statement direct from the pens of the founding fathers, preceding the Constitution and explaining its purpose.  The Articles are the main body of the document and represent the original form as written in 1787.  They outline the duties and functions of Congress, the President, and the Courts.  The Amendments are the newest section of the Constitution, making up the second half of the work.  Though it may seem that to “amend” a constitution seems hypocritical, the Amendments contain some of the most important rights, regulations, and liberties that we as Americans enjoy today, i.e., freedom of speech, religion, and press, the right to keep and bear arms, the abolishment of slavery.
3. Virginia, as a “large” state, was skeptical of the Constitution from the outset, as it seemed to place nearly unlimited power in the hands of the large, centralized government.  By proposing the Bill of Rights, Virginia protected its own interests as a large state.
4. I have no idea.
5. Amendments to the Constitution may be made when two-thirds of both the House and Senate propose them, or when two-thirds (33) of the states call for a convention to propose new amendments.
6. Freedom of religion represents the ideal, where any religion may be observer without any fear of reprisal from the state or the people.  The term toleration of religion seems to be more prejudicial and biased, implying that other religions are okay as long as they do not impinge upon the status quo.
7. Second Amendment. The people of the states. The 2nd Amendment was put into place to support the states’ right of self-defense.
8. In response to this I ask another question: What “essential” liberties have been sacrificed?  An extra 45 minutes at the airport?  Liberties have not been placed under attack.  Now if we were debating the morals of the War On Terror and asking if international respect for the United States is something to be desired, I would go another route.  America launching itself into an international conflict to be seen as the “big guy down the street” is not a new concept.  The entire Cold War was a pissing contest between two borderline retarded children to see who can whiz closest to the electric fence without actually touching it.  What is so different now?  Should America be in Iraq?  Should my friends come home from a country that doesn’t want them there with metal in their bodies?  Should I get activated and sent to play in the sand just to further a political agenda?  Or should we allow a wayward, leaderless people to continue down their path of self-destruction, which could have disastrous consequences for the rest of the planet?  Yes I agree with Ben Franklin.  But no, we are not giving up those liberties which make us the country we are today and have always been. 

Another disciplinary paper. I suspected as much after the first paper, and this goes to show they weren't reading what I gave them. The imagination took off.

            To look your best at all times is to show a basic pride in yourself.  It shows that you care about how others view you and your profession.  It presents people with a good first impression as well.  Imagine that two employees of the same company are presented at some type of convention or business meeting.  One of the employees has a stain on his shirt, wrinkled pants, his tie is too short, and his socks are slightly mismatched.  On the other hand, his colleague has been schooled in the art of self-presentation.  He looks like he just stepped out of an Emporio Armani ad.  His tailored pinstriped pants match perfectly with his silver-buttoned silk shirt.  His Kenneth Cole wingtips reflect every fluorescent bulb in the ceiling.  Which employee would you want out on the street, in the boardroom, overseas negotiating deals with foreign investors?  The answer is obvious.  The well-groomed employee is going to get the nod every time.  He or she will be the first one considered for advancement, the first one to come to mind for plush assignments, the first to, in a phrase, move forward.  If given a choice between these two individuals, any sane person would choose to be the latter.  No one wants to go through life known as “that guy down in Support with the wrinkled pants.”  Having said this, it is inevitable that even the most well-prepared and respectable employee will have his or her off days, however infrequent they may be.  One day, sooner or later, our GQ poster boy will roll out on the wrong side of his four-post double-king goose down bed.  As he begins his morning ritual, he is oblivious to the fact that, for one brief moment, fickle Fate and Lady Luck have turned their backs on him.  He goes about his business: taking in Wall Street Journal stock quotes, whistling softly to himself, reveling at the spikes in crude oil prices, brewing his gourmet coffee; his subconscious already preparing his wardrobe for the coming day.  After he finishes his three egg omelet delivered by his favorite caterer, he pads into his marble floored bathroom to lather his morning stubble.  As he carefully shaves his face, he is distracted by thoughts of the cute young intern that has been showing interest in the past few days.  He finishes, rinsing the last suds from his chin, and turns towards the door.  Little does he know, as his trusty Mach 3 glided across his face, his daydreaming cost him almost nothing, just one little patch of stubble underneath his chin.  Perhaps his mirror was too steamed for him to notice, perhaps he trusted in his own skills too well to recheck, but these things are not important, because as a wise man once said, “If if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.” He continues along his usual early morning routes, dressing in regular fashion, leaving his third story studio flat on time.  He arrives at work on time and is informed, by the pretty young intern of his thoughts, that he has a meeting of some significance with the chief operating officer of the firm.  Enthralled by the possibilities of such an encounter, he barely notices when a courier whisks past, pirouetting through the cubicles, expertly balancing his triple-espresso mocha, but not well enough to avoid one stray aerosol droplet from landing on our hero’s collar.  After stopping by his own office to unload his briefcase and unnecessary items, he makes his way towards the executive wing.  The secretary assigned to the COO is a 42 year-old blonde named Denise with enough natural beauty left to pique the interest of men half her age.  She has secretly lusted after our hero for years now, but she is too insecure to express her feelings beyond a little innocent flirting at random encounters.  Unbeknownst to her, our hero feels much the same way, but due to sad miscommunication at an office mixer a few months back, he believes her to be married.  This meeting between the two runs much the same as the rest, with Denise giving coy glances and our hero flashing devil-may-care smiles.  During this encounter, the protagonist lightly brushes his shoe against the leg of Denise’s desk, just enough to leave a noticeable scuff, which incidentally goes unnoticed in lieu of the flirting.  After a few more moments, our hero enters the lair of his boss, who promptly fires him for looking like crap.  On a more cheerful note, Denise picks up our hero on the rebound and they live happily ever after.  This just goes to show, you can look your best every day, but the day you show up and look like crap, you meet the woman of your dreams.